by Tony Harries

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Tony Harries is back and this is his most personal comedy/satirical journey yet. Full of memories from the past and people he has known. DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR. PUT THIS ON, TAP YOUR FEET AND SMILE A LOT.
This new download comedy/satire CD is a concept cd. Side One (tracks 1 - 7) are called Collar and Tie, while Side Two (8-14) are called Socks and Undies.
You just can't seriously have one without the other!


released March 17, 2017

The marvellous cover is done by the artist El Davo.
The songs were written by Tony Harries
Recorded at Plantagenet Studio
Vocals, Guitars, Synth and Sitar: Tony Harries
Bass, Drums and Synth: G. Plantagenet
Produced by Tony Harries


all rights reserved



Tony Harries UK

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Track Name: Office Party
Hedonism at the office party
The Roman Empire had nothing on this
Sip of sherry and we've all gone hearty
Try for thigh and a drunken kiss.
Track Name: Thug in a Cocktail Dress
With a cut glass voice that'll stop you dead
And the healthy glow of a set well-bred
Not a mark on her well-toned skin
That captures the light like porcelain
Track Name: Sartorial Socialist
A sartorial socialist
Whose views you've chosen to dismiss
I'm smart at heart, just not a slob
Your views on me make you a snob.
Track Name: I Met Her (on a river cruise)
I met her on a river cruise
Between the bingo and the vat of booze
The moon reflected of her varicose veins
And her laughter sounded like clearing drains.
Track Name: Sultans of Surf
Middle class kids at play
Take their holiday
To places by the sea
Where they pretend they're free
Track Name: The Suit
Protects me when I take a stroll
I'm always out on fashion patrol
The Cut's the best and the people know
Made by the gnomes of Savile Row
Track Name: Hipster
I like real ale but drink Dubonnet. Oh my life's a blast.
Read The Chap, life's ironic. Love a shipping forecast.
I'm Oscar lite, I'm Stephen dark. A word for every time
I tut so loud at what you're wearing. That tie's a fashion crime.
Track Name: Beautiful People
Let me tell you all 'bout the beautiful people.
It's hard being pretty in an ugly world.
Hard drinking claret when they're all on lager,
And trying for the well-turned curl.
Track Name: Armchair Expert
You want the answer when you watch a quiz
If he gets it wrong he's in such a tizz
It can't be true when he's not been called
His mouth runs free, but his brain's been walled.
Track Name: Big Fuhrer
The General in charge of the awkward squad
Put a wall in the way, and act like they're God.
Think all the boys are hers to command
But they laugh at her back, and think she's so bland.
Track Name: Ugly Me
Ugly me. Thoughts are rotten
Hair a mess and a face like a bottom
Ugly me. You need tequila
Or more lines from your cocaine dealer
Track Name: Another Bright Day (in Drab Town)
While others fight for beauty, you just fight to breathe
In this game of life, you've no cards up your sleeve.
As you see a mirror, you turn the other way.
That empty face reminds you, you've got nothing left to say.
Track Name: Nicotine Nellie
Nellie and her nicotine
She smokes like a factory
Her clothes have a yellow sheen
Covered in nicotine.
Track Name: Life's Too Short
Facebook God
Lord of Instagram
My opinions carry weight
I stick it to the man
Say what I think on my hate-filled blog
My fan-base is large
Two men and a dog

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